my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
