It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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