yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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