he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
