He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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