He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
