the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
