you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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