Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
People with herpes should wear stickers.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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