Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
