Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
