this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my vag is so smooth its legendary
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
