Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So much Jack, so little girl.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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