some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
