Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
