She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
