dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Randomize
