You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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