Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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