I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
