At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
