I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
