did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
