so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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