Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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