i jhust puked up my retainher.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
