He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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