He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Randomize
