chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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