I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
porn star boner night. come get it.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize