problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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