I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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