i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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