East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
