You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
