And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Randomize
