Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
