sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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