And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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