just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
