At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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