I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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