The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
