Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
