My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize