If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
