Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize