i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
