We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
