He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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