Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
