Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
