I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As shirtless as possible
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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