if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
