I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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