"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize