grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
