on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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