Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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