Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize